rachel mcbride

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I’d say looking into someone’s eyes and telling them how you feel, especially if it’s directed to them. I’ve always used a text or on the phone or anon style until they figure it out. I’m scared of rejection :(
: 2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? I was and still am really angry at my mum. It’s really hard to love someone that you hate so much. She broke my trust and a promise then turned it all around on me and sent me away to live with my nana and papa. Don’t get me wrong I love my nana and papa, I just wish I was here on my own accord.
: 3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? My sister. Tell her I love her and everything is going to be okay.
: 4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I just try and be happy for that amount of days, do things I kind of always wanted and just YOLO!
: 5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust? Trust, I’d rather trust someone than love them. Cause then I could spill my heart and they wouldn’t tell people :)
: 6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? I love all animals, therefore I’d jump in and save it! I’d choose a life over anything!!
: 7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? The one I love
: 8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? I have no idea
: 9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? Yes! Just to hold my god son that one last time, I’d do anything!
: 10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? I think I’m fucking hilarious! So yes!
: 11. Does love = sex? It’s happened once for me and I’ve kind of learnt my lesson.
: 12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? I think I’d stay cause I am there for a reason it’s just unfortunate that first in first to leave
: 13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? Thomas. I had to tell him that I loved him and he is the best friend I’ve ever had! He is amazing, is always there and is just so funny!
: 14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? Never happened to me tbh
: 15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Thomas, cause I cant imagine the world without him!
: 16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? My dad, on the phone
: 17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? Dropping my phone in the bath and having the party in my house tbh
: 18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? Ai
: 19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? Yes! No one deserves to die and everyone can be saved
: 21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? I’m sorry but I can’t imagine the world without my nana! I love her so much! She never judges and she is amazing
: 22. Are you old fashioned? Not really
: 23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I never really expect anything back from anyone tbh, I treat people the way I’d like to be treated so ye. Probably picking my papas prescription up for him so it saved him a walk down town
: 24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? Never loved at all. The pain of a broken heart can take a long time to heal
: 25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? Be happy a lot more.

My scars. I’ve been in a dark place most of my life. I’ve done some fucking stupid stuff. I can honestly say I’m on the road to recovery! I am on anti-depressants and I’m in Rothesay, away from drama and my mum.
Harming my body was something I majorly regret. I hope to never be that low to ever do it again.

Watching a programme about cats with my papa :’) rivviting!!!!

such a babe <3

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I’ve drew out most of the tattoo’s I want, after about 5 months of actually drawing a half sleeve, I’m finally happy with it. Now just to get it done :) but I love drawing that type of stuff :) now I’m considering getting a chest piece :) I just don’t know what yet. So it’s going to be a wee challenge, I’m in Rothesay for a couple of weeks so i’ll get to mess about with designs and what not :)

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I’m constantly crying these days. When will everything get better?

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1 week cut free, I am proud. Not ashamed, I will bear my scars. They are battle wounds and I was fighting myself. I have won.
I haven’t had the urge in a week and I feel okay. Hopefully I can keep this up. I might do the butterfly challenge.

I have to live with this for the rest of my life. I think of 2 people when I see it. Thomas, because we both have we’d smileys tattoo’d :) and the music note makes my heart break. The backwards music note. It will always remind me of new year.

last night was the worst. phoned grant in such a state after my mum screaming at me over pity thing, things not even to do with me. im trying so hard to over come some things/problems, trying to see the bright side of things. but i cant. i love my mum, and she goes on holiday tomorrow. i am scared to be left myself in my house, scared of what i will do to myself. grant will be with me. i couldnt ask for a better friend to be honest. i have the doctors on tuesday, they will probably put me on higher medication again, seeing as my thoughts arent getting any better. 

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